German Food

20 Sep

Dear readers, our beloved American compatriots, if you should know
anything about the little time we’ve spent in Germany, about the city
of Berlin, you should know that Japanese küche actually means
“Japanese kitchen,” that Ian’s friend Aaron refers to Germans as
Deutschbags, and that a fire on the ground floor of our apartment
building would leave us trapped on the 5th floor with no fire escape.
Neither of us know how to tie a knot that isn’t a shoelace, so making
a rope out of bed sheets is out the question. We’d be forced to hang
out in our death-trap apartment, cursing the Deutschbbag that didn’t
invent fire escapes. Moments before burning up with the beautiful wood
floors and the gigantic armoire that must’ve either been built in this
room or carried to the top floor of this building by some Egytians, we
would reconcile our deaths with each other by saying, “at least the
falafel was cheap,  the fried haloumi too, both delicious with hummus
and sesame dressing. At least we drank openly in public, saw Pieter
Bruegel paintings at the Gemäldegalerie… at least we were given one
last opportunity to inspect our excrement on the porcelain shelf of
our happy German toilet!” Over here, on the other side of the
Atlantic, south and slightly east of Copenhagen, the German lifestyle
is like a fresh pretzel or a steaming hot bratwurst with a side of
sauerkraut. Delicious and fresh, we gobble it up, every moment
something to savor — a bunch of weird looking cars, a syrupy sweet,
carbonated energy drink made form yerba mate, a mexican restaurant
that serves 12 euro bean burritos! and a cocktail bar that serves Long
Island ice teas and calls them power cocktails! — Ian yells, “ahhh!
It’s so exciting!!!”  But at the end of our days the food is gone and
we’re stuck in a burning apartment building. You see, it’s the circle
of Berlin life that we’ve become a part of. Similar to Eat Pray Love
but more like Eat Drink Burn. Two hundred years ago a time-traveling
spaceship from Mars landed in Germany and left 2,000 flying fire
trucks. Unidentified Flying Fire Trucks. Beat that, Denver.

Please enjoy this traditional German food recipe, it’s a great
main-course to accompany Ian’s arugula salad with mustard dressing
recipe :

-in a small pot of salty boiling water, combine pasta and 4 raw eggs,
in the shell.
-melt a stick of butter in a double-boiler over the boiling pasta and
egg mixture
-serve both over bratwurst



2 Responses to “German Food”

  1. MomGloria September 21, 2010 at 4:37 pm #

    J, Happy to hear you’re eating and being creative. Worried about the 5th floor and fire hazard! I’ll try Ian’s salad dressing and your sausage and egg recipe for the Autumnal Equinox, 9/23. Do you want me to send an escape ladder that hangs from the window?


  2. jasonbox September 21, 2010 at 4:45 pm #

    Please don’t send a ladder that hangs from the window… Please, please, don’t send a ladder.

    Let me know how to recipes turn out…


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