Archive by Author

Five Years In Them Mi’rs

1 Oct

Jason went home after months in Berlin

I’m back

Back in America

Coming home

Here I am

Welcome home

He felt like a stranger in a family photo

Goodbye, goodbye

“Do I look sad all the time?” Quickly, yes

Late for our grandma’s 3rd funeral, looks like

Don’t buy into the bad feelings

The dog, Jack, I wondered if he weighed as much

As the Thanksgiving Turkey

Family Photograph

Dog years, dog years, dog ears, dog dears, dog life

Memorial in the lobby

Blessings and forks

Bubbie afraid of a fish on the wall

So tell me more, about your world

Where a fish lives on the wall

To not not, for five years

My parents’ generation has a slower touch

When handing down death

Don’t hope for the same

Slow touch when we

Retire your spirits to a flash drive

 

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Seven Ways to Tell You’re Reading This

20 Nov

It’s a fact – reading words isn’t what it once was. Algorithms, data, paragraphs, and pictures are all computer things now, and aren’t computers and reading different? If you’re not sure, read on to find out how you might be.

And then I saw the words

Man, Understanding

Number One – You can see words

We wrote this article with words, so it’s important to figure out if you’re looking at words or if you’re looking at something else. Keep in mind, the internet has a lot of words, but we only wrote some of them.

Number Two – You’re not doing “something else”

Normally defined as “other stuff,” something else might prevent you from reading this.

Number Three – You’re not looking out a window

This (what you’re reading), is right here, not out the window.

Number Four – Numberwang

That’s wangernumb.

Number Five – You’re becoming aware

If you started reading this in the first place, it’s because you weren’t sure you knew if you were reading this. You should now begin to notice an awareness of reading this.

Number Six – You’ve lost attention

It’s normal to forget what you’re doing, such as reading this.

Number SevenIt’s what you’re doing right now

The thought crosses your mind that if someone were to ask you what you’re doing right now, you would reply, honestly, that you’re reading this. You also might consider that if someone asks you later what you were doing earlier, you would reply that you had been reading this. That’s a way, however, to recognize that you ARE reading this now.

 

Now that you’ve read this, tell us: how did you know?

Ramendan Challenge

7 Nov

Ramendan Challenge with celebrity chef Steve Lawson

Ladies and Gentleman, how’s your Ramendan feeling?

4 Nov

Please stand by for a message from our sponsor

Mysteries of Europe Episode 1

26 May

In the first episode of Mysteries of Europe, come along as host Steven Lee Lawson builds a cheeseball to save for later.

Toilet Barnachilles

3 May

Toilet barnacles wasn’t twice what Hercules could have thrown, best spoken like the man he knows is having some sincerity disorder. Coming twice out of his hat, shed, should have said less about the events. In Spokane, on a newspaper, an author biography that looked inside to find the best doctors. Parsley logic rather than current meaning. The sounds are important. Yet, published more than an author, books don’t quite look, sat up right, on the book shelf. With all ways here, apparently, it’s opened to insert a pillow with the books on the shelf. The slight misgiving way of it sitting there on you. Structurers. Complaint forms logged, the errors have been appropriately gifted — vicariously through you. Gortexahedron. It was a squirm and fuzzy, and quite wet. It became more than, just a diet. A sour anticipation, selling books, or packed away. His heart felt on the ceiling. Like the man is resting, that’s how it appears. The collected works of a city shaped in panic, boom, Exxon, longevity. Webster’s Third Symphony. Cecil’s magic toma-king. When the effort is made to contend what should be, already anyways, correct, the nightstand presents features previously unknown. Although, it holds less books than a shelf.♠ Struck.

A New Philosophy For May 1st

1 May

For years and years, I have been in a terrible mood. This is less true if I am drunk and not listening to commercials on Spotify (a music streaming service offering digitally restricted streaming of selected music from a range of major and independent record labels, includingSonyEMIWarner Music Group, and Universal [the preceding text was knicker-knockered directly from Wikipedia in an attempt to tell you what Spotify is]). At the beginning of the last sentence I ignored a common rule for demonstrative pronouns because Spotify was waiting. If you forgive me or have a question to ask me, why are you here?

Thanks!

“Please say a prayer and a sentiential sentence for me, or I will hurt and die.” —User:Centrx

Thanks to a herniated Wikipedia administrator, Downton Abbey, the new buzz of Doritos Locos Tacos (everyone is Tweeting about them), Apple iPad, and cats never die, I have a new philosophy about the world and cats. Lauryn Hill doesn’t want me to cover Doo Wop in 3/4 because I’m not… and she has proposed the following questions:

                                                                  –User:Centrx

It’s like that man, it’s like that, it’s like that man, it’s like that! Clap your hands now.

“THAT’S WHY M. TAMERE CALLS THE AMERICAN PEOPLE’S BODY TYPICAL LOOK AN ‘ABOMINATION OF THE HUMANITY ON THE PLANET EARTH’, CHECK OUT YOUR SKULL AND YOUR OVERALL BODY STRUCTURE AND SKELETON EVOLUTION SINCE YOU IMMIGRATED FROM EUROPE. IT’S MUTING, ITS [sic] GETTING BIGGER AND GROSS, AND NO IT’S NOT HEALTHY ITS [sic] ABNORMAL GROWTH DUE TO THE EXTENSIVE HORMONES AND CHEMICALS INFUSION YOU’ALL SUBJECTED TO.”

A Racist Blog on BlogSpot

“Jede sekunde bedeutet nichts als eine Bewegung: ein Schritt zur Seite, den Stuhl in dreißig Zentimeter Entfernung hinsetzen, dreimal mit dem Lappen darüberwischen. ein halbe Drehung nach rechts, zwei Schritte vorwärts; jede Sekunde hat ihre Bedeutung, vollkommen gleichmäßig, makellos.”

–Flawless, non-free text information.

Cat Lurch

Inside a storm drain there is the skeleton of our lost cat. Her skull knows, full of cat knowledge, that we will never find her. For her killings she is serving a sentence of immobility, which is the most terrifying thing for a cat.

She has not left her bones because cats never do. And there are cats in bags, at the bottom of rivers. They are watching dead fish that sink to the river beds. Segements of their tails slipping downstream. This is torture for the cats. They are stalking the currents, trying to catch the patterns. When a river leaf twirls before them, they can only watch.